Jonah and the Car Wash

 Jonah and the Car Wash                            

  by Danny C. Wash

I took my dirty car to a new car wash for it’s 

semi-annual trip. It was like a psychedelic experience. 

It was as if I was being swallowed by a large fish, 

like Jonah in the Bible must have experienced.

The first event was giving up control of my 

car and myself into the unknown, similar to 

when you are being pulled into a fun house. The 

first part of the experience was the obscuring of  

my windshield with soap and then the noise of the

inside of the tunnel hit me, followed by blue and 

red and white flashing lights accompanied by loud 

thunderous noises as a multitude of black brush-like 

objects whirred and twirled in a loud hypnotic blur. 

One slammed down on my windshield blocking my view

as others spun like buzz saws against my windows. The 

noise from the brushing was deafening and I was hoping 

my paint would survive. If I were a child this would have 

been an event I would have nightmares about the rest of 

my life. The next part of the experience was the rain of

water and what looked like octopus tentacles slapping and 

rubbing all over my car while the noise intensified with 

more flashing lights like lightning and then the spraying 

of more liquid on the my car where I was trapped and 

beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. And then the 

hurricane wind started. The air was blowing at least a 

hundred miles an hour as the water was forced away and I

was then spit out upon the concrete shore like Jonah from 

the whale. I can now appreciate that story with a little more 

sympathy for poor Jonah. Has anyone seen my radio antenna?